It's days like this, where I completely reflect on life. Whether it's sat on a bus looking out watching daily the winter slowly dawning upon us, the condensation increasing up the window glass in the state of mind of day dreaming. Everyone else becoming invisible, a complete blur as the music flows and vibrates in to your ears.
or it's just laying in bed, that crucial moment when everything is silent, complete darkness surrounding you. Flashbacks of memories occurring, the sub-conscious mind creating the up most desires and impossible dreams that you only briefly remember when you wake.
I love reflecting back. The moments when I was most happy, to the moments where I had to stop, think and learn from my actions or what my actions would create/cause if I followed them.
I realised I spent such an amount of time, dwelling on the past, listening to others, rather than the thoughts of my own, searching and trying to learn more things about myself, while under going different situations and over-coming obstacles. I was always focusing on the 'what if's' rather than in the moment of the time, thinking and sparing other people feelings over mine, making my happiness disappear. I started to learn that I was having more 'down' days than I was having 'good' days.
I was giving my time and effort to the wrong people who couldn't even spare the slightest feeling's of mine. Always at a constant battle with myself, telling myself it wouldn't happen again, I'd give my time wisely to the people who deserved it.
But what's better than seeing someone else smile? Even if it's only for a short period of time. Seeing their face light up with joy. It gives me such a warm feeling inside. Forgetting all the hatred in this world, all the negative vibes that no matter what you do, people will give off. Creating positivity, a reason for you to smile from cheek to cheek. Sitting back and watching people blossom, creating and achieving goals, filling their lives with aspirations. I feel there isn't anything better than seeing that. Seeing the people around you that you love, be happy.
I use meditation as a way of coping with my depression and it's completely changed my outlook on life as a person. It's taught me not only how to concentrate and try block out all the negativity, but I feel it's made me feel less numb as a person, once believing that I wasn't worth anyone's time, to actually now thinking maybe I am. It's taught me how to handle the more difficult situations in life that you are faced with daily as a person, it's made me even more willing as a person to step out my comfort zone when I never would.
So if you ever have a day where you feel like you don't belong? Stop, think to yourself, tell yourself daily, even if you don't actually believe it, that you ARE worth something, you was put on this earth for a reason, for whatever reason that may be. It might take you years to finally find out.
What's life if you aren't thrown obstacles to get over? Imagine how easy it would be, you wouldn't be able to develop, become stronger, grow.
Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words and your faith stronger than your feelings.
Wednesday 12 November 2014
Friday 29 March 2013
Here it is..
I ignore people or I'm silent when I'm most hurt, I talk way to fast when I'm excited. But lastly, I like to be the person you'll always remember if you meet.
Ever get them times where you watch a movie? I say this quite allot but you compare your life to it, even if you don't realise it. I always come away learning the moral, the lesson that is learnt. Its also probably why I study tv and film, locking on to something that's not real for an hour and a half approximately. Zoning out in to the creativeness, the art of which someone has maybe had experiences and turned it in to a film, or just a wondering, bubbling mind that leads to what films are today.
I've probably grown up way to fast then an average teenager.
I'm not saying I'm the only one, but I've experienced allot.
Experiences that are good and bad, ones that have brought me to the person I am today. Influences, society's constantly moulding, creating personality's, groups, individuals that stand out.
Basically, the moral I'm giving, the one I understand is; the world is a massive place and the human mind is only small but its more powerful.
The mind allows views, views that change the world, but is it always in a good way?
People make mistakes and chose the wrong paths, but secretly the mind is only looking for one thing, and that's happiness.
I say this to every one of my friends, even if its not intentionally meant but still comes out.
Don't ever forget the person you want to be, what you strive for in life and most of all what makes you happy.
You'll get knocked down by people, things won't always go your way, people will try to change you to be the way they want you be. But always stop and think to yourself, does this make you HAPPY.
Lastly, be proud of who you are, everyone is unique and gorgeous but you just forget at times.
Ever get them times where you watch a movie? I say this quite allot but you compare your life to it, even if you don't realise it. I always come away learning the moral, the lesson that is learnt. Its also probably why I study tv and film, locking on to something that's not real for an hour and a half approximately. Zoning out in to the creativeness, the art of which someone has maybe had experiences and turned it in to a film, or just a wondering, bubbling mind that leads to what films are today.
I've probably grown up way to fast then an average teenager.
I'm not saying I'm the only one, but I've experienced allot.
Experiences that are good and bad, ones that have brought me to the person I am today. Influences, society's constantly moulding, creating personality's, groups, individuals that stand out.
Basically, the moral I'm giving, the one I understand is; the world is a massive place and the human mind is only small but its more powerful.
The mind allows views, views that change the world, but is it always in a good way?
People make mistakes and chose the wrong paths, but secretly the mind is only looking for one thing, and that's happiness.
I say this to every one of my friends, even if its not intentionally meant but still comes out.
Don't ever forget the person you want to be, what you strive for in life and most of all what makes you happy.
You'll get knocked down by people, things won't always go your way, people will try to change you to be the way they want you be. But always stop and think to yourself, does this make you HAPPY.
Lastly, be proud of who you are, everyone is unique and gorgeous but you just forget at times.
Sunday 11 November 2012
Remember Me.
This girl takes a breath and tries to hold all the air in her lungs. She gasps, releasing the air, making her lungs deflate like a balloon.
There's pain. Great utter pain the girl cant describe. She runs her hands through her delicate brunette hair, pulling tightly with anger. A tear slowly rolls down the left of her cheek. It refreshes her memory. She begins to type...
We're born in world that's filled with opportunities, hurt, inspiration,challenges and love.
We're constricted, told and learnt what to do from a young age. Not fulfilling or exploring our own personalities.
We turn in to teens, having mood swings, changes happening to our bodies and having that feeling that no one understands us. We take every little chance to go against what we're meant to know is the right thing. Make mistakes. Realise the solution's.
As we get older, we become more responsible for actions. We love and lose. The worlds a tough place, nothing happens with ease. We have people that give in endlessly, people that are strong minded and people that happily fit in to place with the crowd that don't want to be known.
Having people that are different isn't a thing to be ashamed of. They are what inspires today's society. Seeing someone that doesn't react or care to peoples comments when they walk down the street;in something that's bold,or that they have a mole on there cheek. This is what makes me smile and believe there's such beauty in this world, but people are too judgemental to notice.
If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.
So if you make someone smile for a split second, be proud you did. It many never be remembered from the person but it always can be remembered by you.
We miss people with passion, we laugh like our chests are about to cave in and we lose ourselves in to the things we love the most without even realising. But least we forget the people that are no longer with us.The people the fought for us and our country and their families.
Being proud is an understatement and I have high amounts of respect for them.
Just because the world has one official day, a chance to show respect for all them innocent people,doesn't mean we still don't carry on showing respect through out the year. Which people forget.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Make every day count, live like never before.
There's pain. Great utter pain the girl cant describe. She runs her hands through her delicate brunette hair, pulling tightly with anger. A tear slowly rolls down the left of her cheek. It refreshes her memory. She begins to type...
We're born in world that's filled with opportunities, hurt, inspiration,challenges and love.
We're constricted, told and learnt what to do from a young age. Not fulfilling or exploring our own personalities.
We turn in to teens, having mood swings, changes happening to our bodies and having that feeling that no one understands us. We take every little chance to go against what we're meant to know is the right thing. Make mistakes. Realise the solution's.
As we get older, we become more responsible for actions. We love and lose. The worlds a tough place, nothing happens with ease. We have people that give in endlessly, people that are strong minded and people that happily fit in to place with the crowd that don't want to be known.
Having people that are different isn't a thing to be ashamed of. They are what inspires today's society. Seeing someone that doesn't react or care to peoples comments when they walk down the street;in something that's bold,or that they have a mole on there cheek. This is what makes me smile and believe there's such beauty in this world, but people are too judgemental to notice.
If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.
So if you make someone smile for a split second, be proud you did. It many never be remembered from the person but it always can be remembered by you.
We miss people with passion, we laugh like our chests are about to cave in and we lose ourselves in to the things we love the most without even realising. But least we forget the people that are no longer with us.The people the fought for us and our country and their families.
Being proud is an understatement and I have high amounts of respect for them.
Just because the world has one official day, a chance to show respect for all them innocent people,doesn't mean we still don't carry on showing respect through out the year. Which people forget.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Make every day count, live like never before.
Tuesday 6 November 2012
An underlying, misleading trait.
A huge percentage of relationships are based on jealously and it always makes me wonder why.
why such an emotion we feel? Why does it always have to mean a bad thing?
Ive sat on the sidelines, heard people close to me, people on the streets arguing, over such pitty things. It confuses me. Does feeling this emotion mean your a bad person? How are you actually meant to deal with it?
In a way it shows someone you care about them. when someone stops caring, stops feeling jealous, theres nothing there. no connection. no closeness.
However you feel jealous, it causes arguments, upset and hurt between the people you care for the most. This is what gets me. How are you meant to react to a certain situation without hurting the other person. You want them to know you care, without coming across as prossessive.
Many people dont ever feel this, what can be a very overwhelming emotion. But it allows us to become and be a every day normal human being. We need to feel this way once in our life's to create closeness, to create an odd kind of friendship, but funny enough actually even to start a relationship. even if you dont see it coming or happening to yourself.
I had to write a post about this. There's an increasing rate of abusive relationships or ones that dont always work out to how they seem. I wanted to write about something you readers can relate to. But mostly I wanted just to show you that not always a bad situation has to come out of this emotion. Good things are always round the corner,even if it seems impossible.
Staying postive in life is the key.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
why such an emotion we feel? Why does it always have to mean a bad thing?
Ive sat on the sidelines, heard people close to me, people on the streets arguing, over such pitty things. It confuses me. Does feeling this emotion mean your a bad person? How are you actually meant to deal with it?
In a way it shows someone you care about them. when someone stops caring, stops feeling jealous, theres nothing there. no connection. no closeness.
However you feel jealous, it causes arguments, upset and hurt between the people you care for the most. This is what gets me. How are you meant to react to a certain situation without hurting the other person. You want them to know you care, without coming across as prossessive.
Many people dont ever feel this, what can be a very overwhelming emotion. But it allows us to become and be a every day normal human being. We need to feel this way once in our life's to create closeness, to create an odd kind of friendship, but funny enough actually even to start a relationship. even if you dont see it coming or happening to yourself.
I had to write a post about this. There's an increasing rate of abusive relationships or ones that dont always work out to how they seem. I wanted to write about something you readers can relate to. But mostly I wanted just to show you that not always a bad situation has to come out of this emotion. Good things are always round the corner,even if it seems impossible.
Staying postive in life is the key.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
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